“Try That in A Small Town” - a review.

Note: We will proceed under the assumption that the views and opinions expressed in the lyrics of this specific song may not necessarily reflect the literal views or positions of the individual known as Jason Aldean. Songs are often intended as works of fiction, hypotheticals, entertainment, and frequently as musical product to be monetized. There is nothing inherently wrong with Mr. Aldean generating potentially non-autobiographical music for the purposes of self-expression through artistic medium, or for financial gain, or both. In considering this, let us not forego the catalogs of musical artists such as Johnathan Cash (who most definitely didn’t shoot a man in Reno), Lionel Richie (who in no way was able to defy the laws of physics to dance on a ceiling), and even Eazy-E (who did not literally put some pussy “in the freezer” so he can "always have an on-hold skeezer”). With this in mind, we will refer to the artist/creator of the song as Jason Aldean, while the individual reciting the lyrics will be referred to herein as “the singer”/he for purposes of analyzing the message in the lyrics.

Considering the totality of the lyrics over the entire song, it’s obvious that the song’s audience is who he (the singer) is identifying as ne’er-do-wells from “the city”, I guess. Let us proceed verse by verse.

Verse 1:

Sucker punch somebody on a sidewalk,

Carjack an old lady at a red light,

Pull a gun on the owner of a liquor store,

Ya think it's cool, well, act a fool if ya like.

Here are the problems with Verse 1:

First of all, we have to make an assumption that the singer is attempting to impart a tone of sarcasm. For if we do not, verse 1 sounds like a ringing endorsement of some fucked up behavior. Sucker punch someone? Jack an old lady? Point a gun? Fuck it, go wild if you want to!

Of course, after reviewing the entirety of the song, we know Verse 1 was meant sarcastically and was not the green light to anarchic acts of harm.

Secondly, the singer makes an assumption that these acts are performed for the purpose of “being cool”. As an idea, that is simplistic and dumb, and lyrically it’s shit. Way to phone it in, Mr. Aldean. You’ve shown your lyrical prowess to be of the Toby Keith level. Setting your self-expectations low, it seems.

Verse 2:

Cuss out a cop, spit in his face,

Stomp on the flag and light it up,

Yeah, ya think you're tough.

Again, this verse is meant to be sarcastic, but let’s examine each action instead of putting them in the same pile as the singer does.

Cussing out a police officer - Legal. And, actually, protected speech under the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. It’s not nice to do, but you can call police officers fart knockers, shit heads, punk-ass marks, mark-ass punks, buttholes, fuckers… etc. It’s not illegal. However, as mentioned, it’s not nice, and it could set the tone for how the rest of your interaction with the officer goes. So, tread responsibly with personal accountability in mind. If you make a police officer feel threatened, expect that to be acted upon.

Spitting in a cop’s face – Illegal (and not very nice). That’s assault, brotha. And, therefore, a crime in most small towns, bustling metropolises, and municipalities of all sizes in between.

Stomping and burning the flag of the United States – Legal. As in Constitutionally protected under the First Amendment legal, since 1990. It might hurt people’s feelings, but not illegal. According to the Supreme Court ruling, flag burning constitutes a form of "symbolic speech" that is protected by the First Amendment. Also noted was that the First Amendment protects actions that some in society may find offensive, but getting butthurt, being a little bitch about it, or other unspecified outrage is not justification for suppressing free speech in these United States of fuckin America.

Secondly, the singer again makes the assumption that these acts are performed by individuals because they think they are “tough”. This is dumb. There could be several reasons that someone might perform any of the actions listed in Verse 2. Sure, trying to act tough might be one, but there are many other possibilities. Lyrically, this line seems short-sighted, and the singer seems to suffer from personal incredulity.

Chorus:

Well, try that in a small town,

See how far ya make it down the road,

Around here, we take care of our own,

You cross that line, it won't take long,

For you to find out, I recommend you don't,

Try that in a small town.

First problem, the singer is putting all the apples and oranges in one bag – crimes as well as constitutionally protected activity. Assault, car-jacking, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon are all illegal and punishable by law in the United States. Cussing at a public servant and flag stomping/burning – legal and not punishable by law. The singer, however, makes no distinction as if these are all illegal actions. The theme of the song is based on a false equivalency.

Further, in the words of The Great Cornholio - Are you threatening me? See how far I make it down the road? What exactly do you mean? I mean, we know what you mean. You are threatening to bestow harm, commit crimes by taking justice into your own hands, deprive of rights to due diligence and fair trial, commit assault. Behavior of such type is anti-law & order, anti-America, and clearly against the U.S. Constitution. The size of your town is neither an excuse, nor applicable. It’s just making you sound like an ignorant asshole.

What you’re saying is “Don’t come to a small town and do any crimes or else we’re going to also do some crimes. And also don’t do anything that hurts our feelings or were going to also do crimes then too. We’re so American that we don't see the irony in shitting on the Constitution!”

Moving on to the next item… “Around here, we take care of our own.” This is false. If it were true, there would be no crimes committed in small towns by residents of the small town upon other residents of said small town. There is hard data to dispute the “we take care of our own” claim. Small towns take care of their own probably as much as anywhere else does.

Then to end the chorus – more threats of mob justice and crimes against a person up to and including death at the hands of small town vigilantes operating in defiance of the rule of law and of the Constitution.

Verse 3:

Got a gun that my granddad gave me,

They say one day they're gonna round up,

Well, that shit might fly in the city, good luck.

More bellyaching about issues that don’t exist. The government has never said that they are going to come take your grandpappy’s gun in some big door-to-door roundup, or whatever fiction the singer has imagined. And before someone mentions it - Beto O’Rourke’s campaign statements don’t count. We all know that wasn’t ever going to come to fruition even if he won his races. So, the “They say...they’re gonna round up” lyric is bullshit.

However, let’s entertain the idea for funzies. Let’s say the government wants to take your gun. And let’s say that they want to do it in a very dystopian method such as going door-to-door to search for and seize your gun. And... let’s go further and entertain the singer’s allusion that the government would be successful doing so in the city (for some reason). Does the singer think that his rinky-dink town is going to be a match for the Armed Forces of the United States of America? Some shitty little (largely) untrained populous and their assault rifles or grandpappy’s flintlock versus the caliber of shit the military has? If you think your going to get a little spicy with the government that wants your shit, they’ll just roll a tank over your whole fucking house and move on. Even in a fictional scenario, the singer is full of shit. “Good luck” taking my guns? GTFOH.

Verse 4:

Full of good ol' boys, raised up right,

If you're looking for a fight,

Try that in a small town,

Try that in a small town.

Not sure what the singer means by “good ol’ boys”, and we don’t want to make assumptions to the intended connotation. However, the term “good ol’ boys” historically carries with it baggage. Unfortunate portrayals of white males of The South, misogyny, exclusion, intolerance for “others”, simplicity (but not in a good way). This is not an attempt at slander or degradation, just a statement as to the historical connotation of the term. For this reason, it is important to understand how the singer is using the term “good ol’ boys”. He could just mean guys that like country music, who knows? There is not enough information to ascertain the intended use with a degree of certainty. Because we cannot determine what the singer means, the intention of the verse is in Limbo.

Conclusion:

Lyrics aside - musically, the song sucks. It’s boring, it’s sad, it’s worn down, it sounds like a funeral dirge. It’s shallow and pedantic even for a ballad in this Bro-country genre which it itself is shallow the way bubblegum-pop is to pop music. Way to kill the mood, Jason Aldean.

Overall, this is a dumb song. There is nothing the singer does to draw a contrast between a small town and the city except for the promise of beating the shit out of people it doesn’t like, ignoring the rule of law, being ok with the violation of constitutionally protected rights, and then more than likely covering up said crimes. The overarching message is “might makes right” in a small town, and it glorifies taking the law into your own hands. It paints a picture of an America that the singer is ok with, and in that tells us that the singer is at best an idiot, and at worst a dangerous un-American rights violator and criminal.

The song should have been titled “Try That in a Sundown Town” because it seems to align well with values of such shitty places, and it will no doubt hit home for that demographic whether it was targeted or not. Jason Aldean has painted himself a Toby Keith 2.0 with this song.